Zen sarcasm

Discussion in 'Giggles and Grins........... (OPT IN)' started by venatic, Feb 25, 2006.

  1. venatic

    venatic ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ

    1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me alone.
    2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire.
    3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
    4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
    5. Always remember that you're unique.....just like everyone else.
    6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
    7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of house payments.
    8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
    9. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

    10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat all day long and drink beer.

    11. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.
    12. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
    13. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
    14. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
    15. Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
    16. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
    17. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.
    18. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
  2. coyotehunter

    coyotehunter PURE KILLER

    Jan 19, 2005

  3. xxx

    xxx Guest

  4. membergone

    membergone New Member

    Jan 17, 2004
  5. Cburrows_tx

    Cburrows_tx New Member

    Nov 24, 2004
    Lamar Co. Texas
  6. henry

    henry Fan Boy aka Mr Twisty and

    That is really good advice,,,,,,,,,,,and funny too:rotfl: