Discussion in 'Giggles and Grins........... (OPT IN)' started by GimpHunter, Feb 20, 2006.

  1. GimpHunter

    GimpHunter New Member

    Oct 4, 2003
    Tamms, Illinois
    Subject: Thank You For Shopping At Wal-Mart

    One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike behind him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I'd better see a doctor."

    "Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies.

    "There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it.

    It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars . . . A lot cheaper than a doctor."

    So, Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mart.

    He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.

    Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:

    "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks. Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart."

    That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe began wondering if the computer could be fooled.

    He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample for good measure.

    Joe hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.
    The computer prints the following:

    1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)
    2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)
    3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
    4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
    5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better!

    Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart
  2. riverbottomhunter

    riverbottomhunter Well-Known Member

    Sep 27, 2005
    Chariton Co.

  3. D.R.N.18

    D.R.N.18 New Member

    Feb 13, 2006
    :D Thats pretty good!!!
  4. Lefty

    Lefty New Member

    Jun 29, 2004
    That's pretty funny!
  5. MoBowman

    MoBowman Active Member

    Dec 16, 2002
    Lee's Summit

    MoBowman ```---------->
  6. semohuntingguy

    semohuntingguy New Member

    Nov 2, 2005
    southeast mo.
    thats funny i dont care who you are hahaha
  7. Bricky

    Bricky Active Member

    Jul 11, 2003
    Bonne Terre Mo.
    now thats funny stuff right there i tell ya
  8. Brake

    Brake Active Member

    Jan 28, 2005
    Livingston Co MO
  9. Kickers288

    Kickers288 Active Member

  10. JackJr

    JackJr New Member

    Nov 30, 2002
    Land Of BLAHS

    I think that's a true story.;) Except ya gotta replace the names with henry and MrB.:wink4: