The "middle" wife..

Discussion in 'Giggles and Grins........... (OPT IN)' started by membergone, Feb 15, 2006.

  1. membergone

    membergone New Member

    Jan 17, 2004
    By an Anonymous 2nd grade teacher.

    I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second-grade classroom a few years back. When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few sessions with my students It helps them get over shyness and usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I never, ever place any boundaries or limitations on them. If they want to lug it in to school and talk about it, they're welcome.
    Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater.

    She holds up a snapshot of an infant. "This is Luke, my baby brother, and I'm going to tell you about his birthday. First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their ! love, and then Dad put a seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord."

    She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids are watching her in amazement.

    "Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and going, 'Oh, oh, oh, oh!' " Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. "She walked around the house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!'" Now this kid is doing a hysterical duck walk and groaning.

    "My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn't have a sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my Mom to lie down in bed like this."
    Then Erica lies down with her back against the wall.

    "And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew!" This kid has her legs spread and with her little hands are miming water flowing away. It was too much!

    "Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push,' and 'breathe, breathe.' They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff, they all said it was from Mom's play-center!, so there must be a lot of stuff inside there."

    Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat. I'm sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, if it's show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, just in case another Erica comes along.
  2. huntingmo

    huntingmo New Member

    Jul 20, 2004

  3. Cburrows_tx

    Cburrows_tx New Member

    Nov 24, 2004
    Lamar Co. Texas
    Gotta love those kids!!!
  4. riverbottomhunter

    riverbottomhunter Well-Known Member

    Sep 27, 2005
    Chariton Co.
  5. huntergirl13

    huntergirl13 New Member

    Nov 6, 2004
    Love it! :hysterical:
  6. JarJar

    JarJar New Member

    Sep 27, 2005
  7. r2ahunter

    r2ahunter New Member

    Dec 6, 2005
    down on the farm
  8. coyotehunter

    coyotehunter PURE KILLER

    Jan 19, 2005
    :rotfl::rotfl:now thats good
  9. venatic

    venatic ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ

    The world through a child's eye.:hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
  10. Mailman

    Mailman Well-Known Member

    Feb 2, 2005
    Blue Springs Mo
    Sooo That's how it works??? Mom told me she found me in a hollow stump.
  11. semohuntingguy

    semohuntingguy New Member

    Nov 2, 2005
    southeast mo.
    would have made a good movie