Redneck Valentine Poem

Discussion in 'Social Club' started by spm26191, Mar 10, 2006.

  1. spm26191

    spm26191 New Member

    Oct 13, 2005
    Mexico, MO
    Redneck Valentine Poem

    Collards is green,
    my dog's name is Blue
    and I'm so lucky
    to have a sweet thang like you.

    Yore hair is like cornsilk
    a-flapping in the breeze.
    Softer than Blue's
    and without all them fleas.

    You move like the bass,
    which excite me in May.
    You ain't got no scales
    but I luv you anyway.

    Yo're as satisfy'n as okry
    jist a-fry'n in the pan.
    Yo're as fragrant as "snuff"
    right out of the can.

    You have some'a yore teeth,
    for which I am proud;
    I hold my head high
    when we're in a crowd.

    On special occasions,
    when you shave under yore arms,
    well, I'm in hawg heaven,
    and awed by yore charms.

    Still them fellers at work,
    they all want to know,
    what I did to deserve
    such a purdy, young doe.

    Like a good roll of duct tape
    yo're there fer yore man,
    to patch up life's troubles
    and fix what you can.

    Yo're as cute as a junebug
    a-buzzin' overhead.
    You ain't mean like those far ants
    I found in my bed.

    Cut from the best cloth
    like a plaid flannel shirt,
    you spark up my life
    more than a fresh load of dirt.

    When you hold me real tight
    like a padded gunrack,
    my life is complete;
    Ain't nuttin' I lack.

    Yore complexion, it's perfection,
    like the best vinyl sidin'.
    despite all the years,
    yore age, it keeps hidin'.

    Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie
    with a RC cold drank,
    we go together
    like a skunk goes with stank.

    Some men, they buy chocolate
    for Valentine's Day;
    They git it at Wal-Mart,
    it's romantic that way.

    Some men git roses
    on that special day
    from the cooler at Kroger.
    "That's impressive," I say.

    Some men buy fine diamonds
    from a flea market booth.
    "Diamonds are forever,"
    they explain, suave and couth.

    But for this man, honey,
    these won't do.
    Cause yor'e too special,
    you sweet thang you.

    I got you a gift,
    without taste nor odor,
    more useful than diamonds...
  2. Rebel2

    Rebel2 Well-Known Member

    Dec 16, 2003
    Ozark, MO

  3. JackJr

    JackJr New Member

    Nov 30, 2002
    Land Of BLAHS

    "You have some'a yore teeth,
    for which I am proud;
    I hold my head high
    when we're in a crowd."

  4. membergone

    membergone New Member

    Jan 17, 2004
  5. JackJr

    JackJr New Member

    Nov 30, 2002
    Land Of BLAHS

    Dayum about fell outta my chair...:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

  6. sand_manms

    sand_manms New Member

    Dec 13, 2005
    South Mississippi
  7. 8 point

    8 point New Member

    Aug 4, 2004
    SW MO
    I like it, thats good. Thanks 8 point.:rotfl::hysterical:
  8. Keith

    Keith New Member

    Dec 13, 2002
    Springfield, MO.
    Almost brings a tear to my eye..........:bangin:
  9. BIG OL AL

    BIG OL AL New Member

    Oct 1, 2003
    High Ridge MO
  10. Lefty

    Lefty New Member

    Jun 29, 2004
    Now isn't that sweet!!:eek: