RedNeck Church

Discussion in 'Giggles and Grins........... (OPT IN)' started by membergone, Mar 10, 2006.

  1. membergone

    membergone New Member

    Jan 17, 2004
    I'm sure that this has been posted here before but it was pretty good so I decided to post it again for those who don't make residence here.

    RedNeck Church

    The finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier because none of the members knows
    how to play one.

    People ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch 'em.

    When the pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering," five guys and two women stand up.

    Opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.

    A member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of." (Love it!)

    The choir is known as the "OK Chorale"

    In a congregation of 500 members, there are only seven last names in the church directory.

    Baptism is referred to as "branding".

    High notes on the organ set the dogs on the floor to howling.

    People think "rapture" is what you get when you lift something too heavy.

    The baptismal pool is a #2 galvanized washtub.

    The choir robes were donated by (and embroidered with the logo from) Billy Bob's Barbecue.

    The collection plates are really hub caps from a '56 Chevy.

    Instead of a bell, you are called to service by a duck call.

    The minister and his wife drive matching pickup trucks.

    The communion wine is Boone's Farm "Tickled Pink".

    "Thou shalt not covet" applies to hunting dogs, too.

    And last but not least...You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if...
    The final words of the benediction are, "Y'all come back now!! Ya Hear?"
  2. Rebel2

    Rebel2 Well-Known Member

    Dec 16, 2003
    Ozark, MO
    :hysterical: thats great..

    Hmm...YKYCIARC....................... :toilet:

  3. Keith

    Keith New Member

    Dec 13, 2002
    Springfield, MO.
    :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical: A good n for sure.