Redneck Church

Discussion in 'Giggles and Grins........... (OPT IN)' started by fish, Mar 1, 2006.

  1. fish

    fish I love work. I can watch it all day.


    1. The finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a
    chandelier because none of the members knows how to play one.

    2. People ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two
    fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch 'em.

    3. When the pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the
    offering, "five guys and two women stand up.

    4.. Opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.

    5. A member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because "It ain't never been in a hole it
    couldn't get out of"

    6. The choir is known as the "OK Chorale".

    7. In a congregation of 500 members, there are only seven last names in the church directory.

    8. People think "rapture" is what you get when you lift something too

    9. The baptismal pool is a #2 galvanized "Wheeling" washtub.

    10. The choir robes were donated by (and embroidered with the logo from)Billy Bob's Barbecue.

    11. The collection plates are really hubcaps from a '56 Chevy.

    12. Instead of a bell you are called to service by a duck call.

    13. The minister and his wife drive matching pickup trucks.

    14. The communion wine is Boone's Farm "Tickled Pink".

    15. "Thou shall not covet" applies to huntin' dogs, too.

    16. The final words of the benediction are, "Y'all come back now, Ya hear."

  2. Ginger

    Ginger Administrator Staff Member

    Nov 23, 2003
    Chariton County
    Makes me think of the new lady preacher at our church in Sumner (home of the Wild Goose festival) She called a goose a duck and boy the lil' ol' ladies had something to talk about then. :rotfl:

  3. Keith

    Keith New Member

    Dec 13, 2002
    Springfield, MO.
    :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical: Yep
  4. sand_manms

    sand_manms New Member

    Dec 13, 2005
    South Mississippi