Our turn for Rules

Discussion in 'Giggles and Grins........... (OPT IN)' started by blevely, Feb 10, 2006.

  1. blevely

    blevely White Board Man

    Jul 15, 2004
    Here and There
    We always hear "the rules"
    From the female side.
    Now here are the rules from the male side.
    These are our rules!
    Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

    1. Men ARE not mind readers.

    1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

    1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
    Let it be.

    1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

    1. Crying is blackmail.

    1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
    Subtle hints do not work!
    Strong hints do not work!
    Obvious hints do not work!
    Just say it!

    1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

    1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

    1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

    1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 minutes.

    1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

    1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

    1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

    1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

    1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

    1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

    1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.

    1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing", we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

    1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

    1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.

    1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.

    1. You have enough clothes.

    1. You have too many shoes.

    1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

    1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but at least I'll have some covers for a change.
  2. Lynette

    Lynette Member

    Oct 18, 2005

  3. blevely

    blevely White Board Man

    Jul 15, 2004
    Here and There
    Figures 1 person replies to this and it's lynette being mean to me:hysterical:
  4. Hayzer

    Hayzer New Member

    Heck, not only will I RESPOND to this thread, I'm also making a copy of your post so I can paste it around the house.

    Good rules to live by here blevely....Especially No. 1

  5. Fla_Guy

    Fla_Guy Active Member

    Dec 13, 2005
  6. Lynette

    Lynette Member

    Oct 18, 2005
    mean? heck I thought that was nice! Just for that:horse::horse:.

    I emailed them to my older brother in Alabama, he told me to tell you "Say hello to my long lost brother!"
  7. venatic

    venatic ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ

    You forgot one.

    2. See rule number 1.:banana:
  8. Keith

    Keith New Member

    Dec 13, 2002
    Springfield, MO.
    :cheers::cheers::cheers: ain't gonna happen but we can wish....:hysterical:
  9. they were all good but i think #1 was the best!!:neuspeuter:
  10. spm26191

    spm26191 New Member

    Oct 13, 2005
    Mexico, MO
    Yeah, I like rule #1 :cheers: