Last Day Jokes

Discussion in 'Whitetails General' started by fishshooter, Jun 4, 2009.

  1. fishshooter

    fishshooter Well-Known Member

    Mar 30, 2007
    Reform
    A young monk arrives at the monastery.
    He is assigned to helping the other monks in copying the old
    canons and laws of the church by hand.

    He notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from
    copies, not from the original manuscript.
    So, the new monk goes to the head abbot to question this,
    pointing out that if someone made even a small error in the
    first copy, it would never be picked up!
    In fact, that error would be continued in all of the
    subsequent copies.

    The head monk, says, 'We have been copying from the copies
    for centuries, but you make a good point, my son.'

    He goes down into the dark caves underneath the monastery
    where the original manuscripts are held as archives in a locked
    vault that hasn't been opened for hundreds of years.
    Hours go by and nobody sees the old abbot . . ..

    So, the young monk gets worried and goes down to look for him.
    He sees him banging his head against the wall and wailing.
    'We missed the R !
    We missed the R !
    We missed the R !'
    His forehead is all bloody and bruised and he is crying uncontrollably.
    The young monk asks the old abbot, 'What's wrong, father?'
    With A choking voice, the old abbot replies, 'The word was...

    'CELEBRATE !!!'
     
  2. fishshooter

    fishshooter Well-Known Member

    Mar 30, 2007
    Reform
    On MRB's 65th birthday celebration , he got a gift certificate from his wife. The certificate paid for a visit to a medicine man living on the nearby reservation who was rumored to have a wonderful cure for a little problem :roll2:. After being persuaded, he drove to the reservation, handed his ticket to the medicine man and wondered what would happen next.



    The old man slowly, methodically produced a potion, handed it to him, and with a grip on his shoulder, warned, "This is powerful medicine and it must be respected. You take only a teaspoonful and then say '1-2-3'. When you do that, you will become more manly than you have ever been in your life and you can perform as long as you want."



    Boy was he encouraged. As he walked away, he turned and asked, "How do I stop the medicine from working?"



    "Your partner must say '1-2-3-4 ,'" he responded. "But when she does, the medicine will not work again until next year this time ."



    He was very eager to see if it worked so he came home, showered, shaved, took a spoonful of the medicine, and then waited for wife to finish her bus run , then join him in the bedroom. When she came in, he took off his clothes and said, "1-2-3!"



    Immediately, he was the manliest of men. The wife was excited and began throwing off her clothes. And then she asked, "What was the 1-2-3 for?"



    And that, boys and girls, is an excellent example of why we should never end our sentences with a preposition.