25 reasons I owe my mother

Discussion in 'Giggles and Grins........... (OPT IN)' started by Marine95, May 26, 2009.

  1. Marine95

    Marine95 New Member

    Feb 21, 2006
    Fenton
    25 REASONS I OWE MY MOTHER

    1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
    'If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.'

    2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
    'You better pray that will come out of the carpet.'

    3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
    'If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!'

    4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
    ¡Because I said so, that's why.'

    5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
    'If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me.'

    6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
    'Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident. '

    7. My mother taught me IRONY.
    'Keep crying, and I'll=2 0give you something to cry about.'

    8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
    'Shut your mouth and eat your supper.'

    9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
    'Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!'

    10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
    'You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone.'

    11. My mother taught me a bout WEATHER.
    'This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.'

    12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
    'If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!'

    13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
    'I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.'

    14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
    'Stop acting like your father!'

    15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
    'There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do.'

    16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
    'Just wait until we get home.'

    17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
    'You are going to get it when you get home!'

    18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
    'If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way.'

    19. My mother taught me ESP.
    'Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?'< br>

    20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
    'When that lawn mower cuts off your t oes, don't come running to me.'

    21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
    'If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up.'

    22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
    'You're just like your father.'

    23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
    'Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?'

    24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
    'When you get to be my age, you'll understand.'

    25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE
    'One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!
     
  2. mrb

    mrb New Member

    Jun 6, 2002
    Moberly, Mo
    May God bless your Mother............. :cheers::cheers:

    PS. I got some of the same............ :peepwall::peepwall::peepwall::woot::woot:
     

  3. brushpile

    brushpile New Member

    Feb 23, 2008
    Springfield, MO
    I think we've all heard that a time or two. Here's one more: My mother taught me about PRIORITIES, it went something like this:

    Dad and I are sneaking out of the house to go fishing... "Oh no you don't, not until you __________". Fill in the blank with a list of chores around the house.
     
  4. Buckngator

    Buckngator New Member

    967
    Mar 28, 2009
    That about says it all:woot:, although it wasn't funny 45 years ago.